Dylan Goes on a Date with Underworld Tom
by FlowerofAdversity
Summary: Ever since the Blood Moon Ball episode and also being a fan of Golan the Insatiable, I always wondered how a mash up of these two completely opposite cartoons would work, and this is the result.
1. Chapter 1

Dylan Goes on a Date with Underworld Tom

Synopsis: Dylan Beekner is much older now and has babysat for Death's son, Thomas (as mentioned in Regular Show.) Here, she has a bad case of cabin fever and opens a portal by accident to the netherrealm, summoning Underworld Tom from Star vs. the Forces of Evil.

Chapter 1—Stabbing Holes in the Wall Bored

Dylan wasn't certain what she would do without Alexis to hound, critique or banter with. Her elder sister was many things but intelligence wasn't her strong suit. Golan had gone out and about to wreck havoc somewhere without Dylan tagging along with him and she was feeling a bit lonesome. After awhile, she simply felt bored.

'Ugh, I could stab holes in the wall. Damn ennui.', she thought to herself, playing with a switchblade knife her mom had bought for her 'just in case' some pedofile decided to do something stupid and regrettable.

Dylan sighed and started rummaging through her closet. The book that had summoned Golan from Kakrul was there, neatly laid upon some boxes of old photographs and memories.

'Nah, I'm not that desperate, yet. Maybe Death is on the prowl and needs me to babysit Thomas. Man, oh man. Babysitting that kid is so bad-assed.', she mused as she turned on her smartphone. She dialed Death but received his voicemail.

'Yeah, this is Death. I'm on vacation in Reunion Island. Dylan, if it's you, Thomas is in good hands. My maid, Gretel is looking after him.', Death's voice relayed. She rolled her eyes and moaned.

'Buzzkill.', she thought, laying the phone down on her nightstand. She didn't want it to come to using the unholy book to awaken some grim, grizzly nightmare, but it was better than being stuck alone in her house on a hot summer day when she could've been at the public pool being a miscreant with her Godlord.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2—Opening a Portal to the Underworld

Flipping through the pages of the Kakrulian text, Dylan located the incantation she had been searching for. 'If Golan finds out, he's gonna kill me. Better him disemboweling me than gouging my own eyes out from boredom.', she said, cracking her knuckles and neck to get all the cricks out.

After murmuring the spell, a huge ominous vortex of clouds appeared and a firey chariot sprung out with a flaming skeleton horse.

'Bad ass.', Dylan said, in a sacred tone. Underworld Tom stepped out, looking like he was dressed to paint the town red.

'I was playing a video game but suddenly, I found myself in my chariot and now here. Who are you ? You're incredibly cute.', Tom said, starting to flirt with her. She found herself feeling a bit light-headed and dreamy around Tom, like she had long ago as a young girl with Schmegly. Schmegly was a passing phase though. This guy, this Underworld Tom, he was definitely hardcore, and she absolutely loved it. He seemed to have _everything_ and more, and the fact that he was being such a gentleman to her proved that this was a demon that was genteel and knew the laws of etiquitte . Or so she thought until the date started becoming very unusual.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3—Red Flags

Tom had been nothing but polite in his treatment to Dylan and had been fascinated by her life as the 'acolyte' of a prominent demon lord.

'I've heard of Kakrul, but I'm sad to say that Golan is no longer king of that realm.', Tom lamented. He adored hearing stories of his glory days but was happy to hear that someday Dylan would take his rightful place as his heir. She was more than compitent and capable than ruling in any capacity, Tom thought. He could see his relationship with Dylan blooming and knew someday they would be wed, happily. He didn't think of delaying the process any longer, and unlike Star Butterfly, they were _more_ than compatible. Someday, the entire _multiverse_ would bow to their power. He could just envision it.

'I was pondering, ya know, since this is going so swimmingly that we should go ahead and tie the knot. You only live once and all that jazz ! We are totally in love with each other, it's soooo obvious !', Tom crooned. His pitch was very convincing but Tom came across as desperate and needy, wanting affection in the worst way possible. She knew that Tom was going to _force_ her to marry him and she didn't want to settle down at 18. She still had a full life left to live and was still learning how to become a proper underworld denizen.

'Inasmuch as that sounds very appealing, I don't know you well enough to get hitched, Tom !', Dylan protested. Tom hadn't gotten angry for a good, long while and was starting to feel the embers of wrath beginning to be stoked. If he wasn't going to have Dylan, no one would. Not while he was still undead.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4—Star Saves Dylan's Tuchus

Right before Tom went into an uncontrollable, blind rage, a mysterious blonde haired girl with demon's horns swooped in at the very last moment. She had frozen the demon in a block of ice, seemingly for the second time.

'Trying to convince you that you're too good for anyone else, huh ? He's very clingy that way, and not only that, he's very controlling. He has to learn somehow that no just means no.', Star Butterfly said after introducing herself. The goth and the cheerful alien couldn't have been more polarlly opposed but Dylan wasn't complaining. When she had been sucked into the portal, the Kakrulian text had been left in her room and was unavailable to her convience of returning back to Minnesota.

'You are really kick ass ! I can't believe you thwarted him so easily. I guess in another life we could've been friends, but who knows ?', Dylan remarked with a small, approving and grateful smile. Star grinned and hugged the little emo, more than happy that she could save Ms. Beekner from a fate worse than death. As for Marco, he remained transfixed and mute at what had happened.

'Don't worry. Your own Marco will come into your life when you least expect. Don't go summoning any more dudes from the Underworld. They're just bad news. No offense.', Star reproved, sounding a bit maternal. Dylan took that message to heart, but boy was Golan going to have a time teasing her as soon as he came home from his gallavanting around the town, doing whatever he had been doing for the past 5 hours.


	5. Chapter 5

Epilogue

Dylan had lavished the scenery of the Underworld but was more than happy to be back home, even if it was with her idiot sister, Alexis. Her mother hadn't really asked what she had been up to but she seemed to be in good spirits after hitting the red wine bottle a little. Despite her obvious slight intoxiation, Dylan's mom was pleased to see that she had made curfew and Golan was going to get a scolding as soon as he arrived back home.

Golan and Dylan started talking about Tom and Golan felt slightly responsible for leaving her to her own devices.

'I would've told you that guy's a whackjob. I mean, total control freak ! Am I right, or am I right ?', Golan said, making light of the entire situation. Dylan wasn't likely to make that mistake ever again.

'I will be fine on my own terms. Besides, I've got you as my guardian, so what can go wrong ?', Dylan said. Golan felt a slight twinge in his heart and patted the lovely teenager on the head for her compliment. 'True dat. I couldn't be luckier having you as my acolyte.', he said, hoping no one else overheard. With that said, the two of them said their goodnights and Dylan tucked Golan in, making sure he was comfortable in her bed whilst she slept on the floor. 'This,', she felt, 'is the best relationship anyone could have. It's perfect.', and at last fell into a deep sleep wondering what diabolical schemes she and Golan would cook up tomorrow.

The End


End file.
